Gen X Dad, Post Millenial Son

(written a year ago, April 2009)

Tiago, my nine month old son sleeps soundly beside me as I tap as quietly as I can into my laptop. He must have gotten tired from this morning’s swimming class with his mommy. My wife catches precious sleep too on the other side of the bed. It is a rare, quiet moment alone for me to watch my own little family resting so serenely. In a few moments, I know my little boy will be up, waking up mommy and signing for milk with his little hands. He is growing up so fast. And so differently from us – Martial Law Babies, ‘80’s kids, Generation X.

In the first 9 months of my son’s life, Tiago along with his parental units (us), has attended a baby sign language class; begun attending an infant swimming program; flown to Boracay for a quick holiday; Skyped with his aunts, uncles, and cousins in the US, Canada, and Australia; and has had his pre-born (4D ultrasound) and new born (Day 1, Hour 1) photos & videos posted on the internet in mommy’s blog for all the world to see. By next year, when he is about 1 and a half years old, he will be able to go to a pre-school to get a head start in the bigger school (for the next 4 years). In the first 9 years of my life, my world revolved around my parents, my lola, my sisters, school, Sesame Street, Ali Mall in Cubao, and well, Lego.

When my wife and I go around the city and see groups of students ambling around the malls in packs, strutting with their Havaianas and glued to their MP3/ipod ear phones or call center kids in early morning drinking sessions (at bars open as early as 6 am or perhaps never really closed the night before), we can’t help but sigh with slight amusement and disdain – “Hay, ang kabataan.” There is a strange, somewhat embarrassing feeling when one admits that they are growing old and the generational differences begin to show. As part of the generation characterized by liberal thinking (multiculturalism, MTV, act local – think global, save the earth!) mixed with a hint of cynicism (Edsa 1, 2, & 3, Kurt Cobain, That’s Entertainment!). I find myself oddly unable to relate to certain things. While I pride myself in keeping up to date and tech savvy, it’s as if certain boundaries appear that I cannot seam to cross. Sure I’ve got Facebook but Plurk and Twitter? Sure I appreciate Hannah Montana but the Jonas Brothers? And of course I loved Harry Potter (both book and film) but Twilight? At work, I begin to see myself being drawn to articles that speak of managing Generation Y or the Millennial workforce. And I realize that while still close, I clearly do not belong to that certain demographic. And then I begin to wonder, worry, and dream, about how my little Tiago will grow up. A Post-Millenial reared by a couple of Gen Xers. Here are some of my thoughts on this era where my son will spend his growing years in.

1. The Age of Aquarius. When my boy comes to consciousness, he would know that mommy and daddy would probably prefer time outs, gentle reprimands, and serious conversations instead corporeal punishment. In this enlightened early years of the 21st century, he would grow up knowing that Emotional and Social Intelligence is as important as Academic and Physical Achievement. He would know that both men and women, no matter what color or race can lead countries even the big ones (and equally do well or foul up big time). He would know that too much fast food is wrong, a healthy lifestyle is cool, that boys do cry, and that being different is ok.

2. The Age of Information and Social Connection. My son who does his darn best to crawl to the laptop when no one is looking or to grab our mobile phones when we leave it on the bed (to taste, of course) will grow up inextricably linked to the internet. I recently heard this interesting trivia that with about 130M users, Facebook’s “population” is larger than Japan’s, Nigeria’s, and the Philippines! He would’ve virtually met and interacted with his relatives and make friends in all parts of the world without seeing a single envelope and stamp. Nor even have to leave the house. He would see his parents juggle work and home time through the constant fiddling of laptops, Blackberries, and mobile phones (ok, mostly daddy). The laptop computer, the internet, mobile phone, the mp3 player will be just as common to him as was the rotary phone (with party line), the betamax (with separate rewinder), the component (pronounced “komponen”), and daddy’s & mommy’s attaché case (pronounced “atachi”) in our home in the ‘80s.

3. The Age of Being Filipino. When Tiago goes to school, he will eventually start being called (or teased) Kapitan, for Kapitan Tiago one of the less virtuous characters in Jose Rizal’s novels (as he already is now). He will have classmates named Inggo, Iska, Gabriella, Matteo, and a good number of Miguels and Diegos (and who knows, maybe even Crispin and Basilio). Who knows how the resurgence of Spanish Colonial Period Filipino names came about? Is it simply the Gen X’s subtle dig at their own parent’s more American Time choices like Michael, Michelle, Joseph, and Anne? Will Gen Y’s children be named Sulayman, Kabunyian, and Lapu-Lapu?

Sadly, Tiago will grow up seeing Ninoy’s Glasses, the Philippine Map, and the Philippine Flag as fashion icons on T-shirts, Jackets, and other pieces of clothing without knowing exactly what People Power was, except through history class and his parents’ old stories. He will likely practice English (and Spanish) through Cartoon Network and Disney Channel but will know Filipino from Wowowee and Eat Bulaga, just as his parents learned English from Sesame Street and Uncle Bob, and Filipino from Batibot and well, Eat Bulaga. Without our strong commitment to make him bilingual (not to be confused with kolehiyala Taglish), I can only hope that we can teach him how to speak straight English and straight Filipino, accent free. And not to pick up too much from the afternoon shows.

4. The Age of Globalization. Through more affordable airfare, adventure seeking parents, and daddy’s work that will sometimes require him to travel, Tiago will probably see a good number of different countries before he is even 5. More than that first trip to Hong Kong I took when I was 16. And in those different countries, he will be able to eat at McDonalds (KFC, Starbucks, etc.), watch Cartoon Network (Discovery, MTV, etc.), and shop at places like Toys R Us, Gap, Watson’s, or any other branded shop at the mall – just like back home. All will be familiar but with slight differences. In school, Tiago will learn about the Great Global Economic Crisis circa 2008-2010 just as he would learn about the Great Depression circa 1930s. When he is older he would know that he can purchase just about anything from anywhere around the world in real time 24 by 7 through the internet or whatever it will be called by then. He will treat spaghetti, pizza, tempura, and maybe even kimchi as the food of his youth, just as adobo and sinigang.

5. The Age of Empowerment and the Need for Urgent Change. When my boy gets a little older, he will hopefully realize that he was born very blessed and in a modestly privileged position, or at least wonder about the children his age knocking at the car window for coins. He will read about the more than 11M Filipinos who have to work away from their families facing loneliness and danger in order to make a living. And many more Filipinos at home, unable to put food on their plates. He will see on CNN and Bloomberg that his country is seen as a bastion of government corruption, political bickering and leaders out for their interest. He will watch Al Gore talking about melting polar ice caps and actually experience the rising temperatures and unpredictable weather as he does now. And maybe, just maybe, for all the enlightened upbringing, the collective wisdom of the world at the tips of his finger tips at the speed of a click, the pride of being a Filipino, and the voice to call out to the whole world - he will decide to lead a life for the betterment of himself and others.

Chalk one up for the Slacker Generation adult to pin the responsibility for changing the world on the Generation Still in its Diapers sleeping peacefully beside him. Somehow for all the differences from our time and now, I can only teach my child what I picked up myself as I was growing up.

Be honest, responsible, and help those in need. (Papa)
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. (Mama)
Don’t eat a lot of junk food. Always pray. Love your family (my Lola)
Pikon talo. (my sisters, usually in mocking tone & repeatedly)
Reduce, Recycle, Re-use. (‘80’s environmental slogan)
Kung may itim at may puti, mayroon ring kayumanggi. (Francis M)
Our country, our culture, our people are beautiful (Imelda believe it or not)
Literature, theater, and art are important. (My uncle).
Think local, act global. (another ‘80’s slogan)
The Filipino is worth dying for. (the glasses guy on my shirt).
With all my friends behind me how can I go wrong this time. (Bagets)
Fight for the one you love. (Daimos)
Marry someone who loves you as you are & as you can be. (John & Marsha)
When someone tries to make you eat dog food, shake yer head and walk away (Ely, Raymund, Marcus,and Buddy)
Think of others always. (St. La Salle, St. Ignatius)

Everything is different. Everything is the same. Now, please excuse me as I hear someone waking up.